SasoDei : I'll Be Missing You

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     "Deidara.  Is there anything you want to say to your new partner before we properly initiate him?"   </b>

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  The wind blew back the chunk of blonde hair hanging over the boy's 'eye'.  He was looking around, scanning for something.  He wasn't sure what, yet.  He just knew that he was in the mood to make something, and he needed a little bit of inspiration.  He was outside the Akatsuki hide out, trying to wind himself down from the most recent meeting.

  It had stressed him out just a little bit.

  He moved a hand up to his hair to brush it back a little bit and let out a sigh.  "There's nothing out here unnnn..."  He let out, sadly.  He spoke the truth, there was close to nothing around the Akatsuki base.  It was just a barren wasteland of discreetness.  He blinked and saw a small bird land near him.  It chirped happily and pecked at the ground like most birds do.  He sighed and a small bird popped from his hand, which had been readily filled with clay.  His bird hopped down next to the other bird and the two chirped about one another.  The live bird tried to figure the clay bird out, and got a little too close just in time for the clay bird to explode in its face and blow it into a million pieces.

  Deidara smiled.  He was in a destructive mood.  He didn't like the ideas proposed at tonight's meeting, but he had very little influence over what happened.  He sighed and ran a finger in the blood and guts the real bird had left behind as evidence of it's encounter with his bird.  He lifted his finger up to his face and examined it, heaving a sigh.  He was about to wipe the blood off his finger and onto his cloak when the tongue from his hand lapped it up.  He sighed.  "You're so gross, yeah."  he said to it, playfully.  He figured that if he joked with himself, maybe his mood would lighten and he'd be in a better mood for dinner tonight.

  Akatsuki was like one big family, but only when they were all there in the hideout.  Which wasn't very often.  They were tonight, thought, and Leader-san had proposed they all eat together tonight.  He cringed at the thought of what that might entail.  Zetsu's eating habits weren't exactly things that Deidara loved to observe.

  Deidara sat on the ground next to the bird's splattered insides and traced his finger along in the dirt.  He was getting bored, but he knew that if he went inside he'd just get angry or sad or something and he didn't want to go and get all...whatever he would get.

  An unfortunate ant ran across his knuckle and he smashed it with the index finger of his other hand.  He then noticed a small ant hill and began smashing them with his finger, one by one.  He then looked at the ant hill.  "You stupid insects spent your whole lives on that mound of dirt, yeah?"  He said, and traced a finger around the outside circle of the mound,  "It's your masterpiece, unn."  He dragged his finger though it angrily.  "And now it's real art.  Short lived.  A bang.  That's your lives, yeah.  The end of it un.  Finality."

  "What are you doing?"  A low voice asked from behind the blonde.  He didn't flinch.  He knew that voice.  He clung on to every syllable.

  "Looking for inspiration, Danna.  But nothing's really...coming, yeah."  Deidara replied, simply.

  "You need inspiration for your mindless destruction?  I could've guessed otherwise."  Sasori said, sounding slightly disgusted.  The small red haired boy sat down next to Deidara.  "What's that?"  Sasori asked about the red smears on the ground.

  "It was a bird, un."  Deidara replied, and looked over at his wooden partner.

  "Was  See what I mean?  You're so...destructive."

  Deidara just shifted.

  "Leader wanted me to come out and see what's wrong with you."  Sasori said, though it was obvious he wasn't happy about being the one who had to come out here and ask.

  "Nothing is wrong, Danna."  Deidara lied.  "Just thinking, un."  Deidara held a hand out in front of himself.

  "Something is wrong, pest."  Sasori demanded.  "I can tell.  You're squirming in your own skin."

  "Nothing is wrong, un."  Deidara argued boldly.

  "Something's wrong you little shit now just tell me what it is!"  Sasori yelled at him.

  Deidara cowered a bit.  He had very rarely actually heard Sasori-Danna raise his voice.  And only once or twice to him.

  "We always go as a pair, un."  Deidara said, sadly.  "Why is Leader-san sending you out on your own?"

  Sasori sighed.  "This again?"  He asked.  "I told you, it's just a delivery mission, I need to take a letter to someone important.  That's all.  A connection of ours.  You'd only get in the way."

  "Why do you do that, un?"

  "Do what?"

  "Treat me like dirt on your shoe, Danna."

  Sasori didn't blink.  "Perhaps because that is what you amount to in my mind.  Perhaps because your destructive tendencies can hardly even be jokingly called art and yet you deem them as such.  Perhaps because you are the largest annoyance I've ever faced in my entire long existence.  Perhaps because you are an impudent little child and I feel as though I'm your babysitter.  Perhaps because--"

  Deidara felt a tear rising to his face and he had to gasp to hold back a sob.

  "And now you are going to cry."  Sasori said, annoyed.

  "Am not, un!"

  "You are.  This is exactly what I mean.  You're pathetic and you are a pathetic excuse for an artist!"

  Deidara hung his head.  "Is that truly what you think of me, Danna?"

  "Perhaps."  Sasori said, standing and brushing some dirt off of himself.  "Come inside.  You're going to become ill sitting out here all day."

  "So you do care, un?"

  Sasori shook his head.  "You misunderstand my intentions.  I meerly don't wish to loose my partner, they'd have to find me a new one and that would just be a pain.  Do not mistake it for any sort of attachment.  Do you understand?"

  Deidara looked down.  "Yes, Danna."  Deidara said, sourly.  "I understand perfectly, un."

  ~**``~``**~

     "Just one thing...."   </b>

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  Dinner went by without any fault, nothing exciting.  Deidara stayed hushed up most of the time, which worried more than one Akatsuki member, but no one said anything about it.  When dinner broke off, everyone headed toward their rooms, the promise of another meeting in the morning weighed heavy on Deidara's chest.

  He walked into his room and collapsed on his bed.  It was dark in his room, and the bed was cold.  He shivered slightly as he unbuttoned his cloak and threw it aside.  The cold blankets felt like they weighed a ton, his head felt heavy as it fell against the pillow.  He curled himself up and closed his eyes, but he couldn't seem to fall asleep.

  He shifted in bed and laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling.  He sighed and jumped out of bed, pulled his cloak back on, and went outside once more.

  The night air was freezing, and he was starting to regret coming out.  He stepped forward, his hand shifting over the pouch of clay he still had strapped to his leg.  He was tired, but he couldn't go back in there right now.  He looked up the sky and kept walking while looking up.  His foot hit a tree root and he stumbled forward.  A branch caught his cheek, drawing blood, but before he hit the ground, something caught him.  It felt like two strong arms.

  And he found that it was.

  "What are you doing out here?  Are you trying to scare me, you little shit?"  Sasori asked.

  Deidara looked up and his eyes locked with the other boy's.  "N-n-no, D-D-Danna.  I-I was just...w-w-walking...un....."

  Sasori raised a finger to Deidara's lips.  "Shhhhh.  Shut up.  Neither of us will ever be able to carry out a full conversation about this out here in the freezing cold.  You'll explain to me what you were doing stalking around in the dark once we get in to my room.  And then I will teach you how to assemble an attractive string of syllables that most people refer to as a word without stuttering."

  Deidara's fists clenched at Sasori's insult, but he just let it roll off.  He took a step forward, but he fell with pain shooting through his ankle.  He must've hurt it when he tripped.  Sasori caught him before he hit the ground once more.

  "You're injured."  Sasori said, a tinge of either worry or surprise in his voice--it seemed an octave higher than usual.

  Deidara didn't say anything, but he didn't need to.  Sasori picked him up over his shoulder.  "Come now, pest, I'll get you inside."  Sasori carried Deidara all the way into the headquarters and down into the dark room belonging to the red head himself.  He placed Deidara on the bed and went over to a cloth that covered one of his many puppets.  He ripped off a strip of it and came back to his blonde counterpart.  He sat on the end of the bed and looked at Deidara.  "Come here."  He commanded.

  Deidara scuttled to Sasori the best he could and whimpered like an injured puppy.

  "Give me your injured ankle."  Sasori said, and Deidara complied quickly.  Sasori examined the ankle and gave a small 'humph' noise.  "As I suspected.  Just a sprain.  It'll heal quickly.  Don't worry."  He said, and wrapped it in the cloth very tightly.  "Sit up."  Sasori commanded.

  "Yes, Danna."  Deidara said, and sat up.  "What are you doing, yeah?"

  Sasori brought a finger up to Deidara's mouth.  "Shut up."  He said, and ripped some of the cloth off of his own cloak.  He brought it up to the cut that was bleeding on Deidara's face and wiped the blood back softly.  "Nothing serious.  Just a scrape."  He said, and brought the cloth back.  He ran a finger on Deidara's cheek, taking some of his blood along with it.  He stared at it for a second and then wiped it off on his cloak.  "Good night, Deidara."

  "B-b-but...Sasori-Danna?"  He started.

  Sasori sighed.  "What have I said about stringing together your syllables?  Honestly, Deidara.  I'm a little embarrassed to be your partner.  Now try that again."

  "But Sasori-Danna.  I want to go back to my room, un..."  Deidara said, softly.  He glanced at the puppets.  "No offence...but they..."

  "Make you squeamish?  Or how would you say it....'They freak you out, un.'"  Sasori taunted.

  It took Deidara a second to trigger that he'd been mocked.  "Hey, that's not funny, un!"  He said, shoving Sasori.  Sasori smiled.

  Smiled, as in actually smiled at Deidara's motion.

  "Here."  Sasori said, and stood up.  He walked over and pulled a sheet over the remainder of his visible puppets.  "Can you sleep now?"

  Deidara shook his head.  "I don't want to sleep in your room, un."

  Sasori laughed and came over to Deidara.  "Well, you're going to have to.  Because the only way you're going to be making it anywhere else is if I carry you.  And I'm not going to."

  Deidara frowned.  "Why not, Danna?"

  "Because I'm tired."  Sasori said, laying down next to Deidara.  "Go to sleep."

  "No, un!"

  Sasori sighed.  "Are you trying to piss me off again, you little shit?"

  Deidara glared at him and then hit him.  "Why are you always so rude to me?!"  He asked,  "What did I ever do to deserve your hatred, un?!"

  "Need I list the reasons from before?"  Sasori asked.

  Deidara finally let his tears loose.  "You think I'm less than you!  That just because we have different views on art we can't get along, just for five seconds and it's not okay for me to care about you, is it, un?"

  Sasori blinked.  "Calm down, Deidara."  He said, softly.

  "No, Danna!  I won't!  I don't want you to go on the mission by yourself!  Because...because...if I'm not there to protect you then something bad could happen, and I don't want to loose you!  I don't want to...I don't...un..."

  Sasori chuckled.

  He chuckled.

  "Is my pain really that funny to you, yeah?"  Deidara asked.

  "No, no, it's just...is that what this is all about, Deidara?  That stupid mission?"

  Deidara nodded.

  "I turned it down after I went out and talked to you, Deidara.  I turned it down after you told me that you didn't want to go.  And now I'm going to have to turn down the mission he offered for us together, because you have gone off and sprained your ankle."  Sasori sighed.  "I should've told you sooner, but I wanted to let you dangle a little bit longer.  I didn't realize how much it was ripping you apart, Dei, or I would've said something sooner."  Sasori laughed.  "You are such an idiot.  Do you honestly think that I would do something that obviously caused you such discomfort?"

  Deidara blinked.  "You turned it down, un?"

  Sasori nodded.  "Yes.  I turned it down."

  "For me, un?"

  "Yes, for you."

  Deidara couldn't wrap his head around this one.  "But...why...why would you do that, un?"

  Sasori sighed and rolled onto his stomach.  He then draped an arm around Deidara and brought his mouth down upon that of his partner.  His mouth smothered Deidara, and the shocked blonde struggled for a few seconds.  But then he realized that Sasori was kissing him and he wrapped his arms around the small boy that was now practically on top of him.  Sasori's tongue slipped carefully into Deidara's mouth and brushed against the roof softly.  Deidara whimpered softly and pulled Sasori closer.  Just when Deidara was getting really into it, though, Sasori broke it apart.

  "Why would I do that?"  Sasori repeated Deidara's question.  "You idiot."

  Deidara just smiled now.  "You...you...you just..."

  Sasori raised a finger to Deidara's mouth.  "Shut up."  He commanded, and lowered his mouth to Deidara's ear.  "I..."  he started, but stopped himself.

  "Please say it, Danna."  Deidara begged.

  Sasori closed his eyes, concentrating on what it was exactly he was trying to convey.  The feeling in him that was deeper than anything else.

  Something even more important to him than his art.

  Were there words for this?

  He knew there were, he just could no longer put his finger on it.  He kissed near Deidara's ear and then finally realized what it was he had wanted to say.  What it was he wanted more than anything to tell the blonde boy that he was lying on top of.  

  "Deidara..."  He said, softly,  "...I think..."  He shook that word off his tongue,  "No...no...I know...I know that I..."

  Deidara ran his hand across Sasori's back, feeling through the cloth all the little intricacies of his puppet body.  "Go ahead."  He coaxed.  "Say it."

  "I love you."  Sasori whispered into Deidara's ear.

  Deidara smiled and then whispered back.  "I love you too, Danna."

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     "He's got some important, sweet, and beautiful shoes to fill."   </b>

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